It's easy to ruin relationships, at home or at work, by getting into an argument and letting it devolve past the point of usefulness. A good argument can produce a good things, however. Here's how to have one.
Paul Gilbert, writing for Psychology Today , examines some advice on arguing from psychologist Dr. Anthony Wolf. Wolf recommends the following, practical suggestions:
-Be polite and don't let your argument include any bickering, sniping, or anything malicious. Remeber that it's about resolving a disagreement, not hurting the other party (or parties).
-Stay on topic. Remember what you're arguing about and don't move on to other topics just because your emotions are running higher than usual.
-Remember that it's more important to diffuse the tension than resolve an argument. Many arguments can just be let go because they're not important. Don't struggle to always get the last word in.
As we've noted, it's very easy to turn into an ******* and cause yourself a wealth of problems. Try to keep a cool head when arguing and you'll find yourself much more successful. The more polite and calm you remain the less likely that the argument will escalate into a shouting match, since you're just fueling the fire at that point. Instead of grasping at the anger in the moment, concentrate on the outcome. You want it to be good and everyone to end up happy in the end, so stay calm. It's hard to be mean to someone who's continually kind, so keeping a level head—even if you have to fake it—will make your arguments turn out a lot better.
The Art of the Argument http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200607/the-art-the-argument
Do you feel bad after you have an argument?
What are some reason why people argue?
What does your family argue about?
How do you avoid arguments?
Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? Shy?
Do you get along with argumentative people?
Are you passionate about your beliefs?
Do you ever try to impose your beliefs on others?
Do you at times enjoy "playing the devil's advocate" (debating for the fun of it)?
Do you get along argumentative people?
Are you passionate about your beliefs?
Would you describe yourself as an argumentative person?
What other adjectives would you associate with an argumentative person?
In your opinion is being argumentative a positive trait or a flaw?
Are you easily persuaded in an argument?
Do you ever try to impose your beliefs on others?
Do you at times enjoy "playing the devil's advocate" (debating for the fun of it)?
Have you ever taken part in a debate? Did you have to defend an opinion that wasn't your own? If so, was it easy? Did it make you re-evaluate your own views?
How do you feel when someone disagrees with everything you have to say?
Do have a "butinski"in your family? Do you tend to but in?
At work do you often voice your opinions on controversial issues? If so, what kind of reception do get?
Do you steer clear of some touchy topics or do you get a kick out of provoking others?
How do you feel when you have a hunch someone's not paying attention to what you have to say? Do you raise your voice? Do you get nasty?
How do you grab someone's attention when you're making a point? What can you do to lose it?
Are hand gestures useful in an argument?
Do you think it's disrespectful to argue with your elders?
Do you often feel patronized in an argument?
What do you say when someone is being condescending?
